30 skills a man should know

Here is a list of skills that men should know how to do...

1) Mix Music: I think I have managed this one as music is my life!
2) Give a speech: No matter how cringe-worthy my best man speech was or how awkward my leaving speeches have been from work; I’ve had plenty of practice and believe I have mastered this one!
3) Keep it up: Unfortunately no! I can keep it up people, I just can't play keep it up with a ball much to the bemusement and constant mocking from my brothers! I will beat you both one day!!
4) Carve meat: check!
5) Haggle: Terrible at this, hate doing it, can't do it, never will
6) Protect a computer: Oh yes, I can manage this one.
7) Get hold of a good tradesman: As I have lived in Taiwan for the past few years and many tradesman seem to be under the impression that all foreigners are rich (hence rip them off for all their worth) then no!
8) Tip: I can manage this
9) Play golf: Watching me play golf is more embarrassing than words can possibly describe. Horrible game, truly appalling!
10) Massage: Oh yes I can do that!
11) Feign Confidence: Feign being the operative word here. I'm screaming to get away inside, but cool on the outside!
12) Know Shakespeare: I would never have the nerve to call myself British if I didn't know Shakespeare.
13) Play pub games: Do drinking games count? I'm a pro!
14) Admit mistakes, accept defeat: mistakes? What mistakes! No, truly, I can do this one!
15) Change sheets: I've lived away from home for 10 years people! Despite the panoply of colorful expletives I can do this!
16) Procrastinate: occasionally
17) Support a team: Afraid not!
18) Camping: Infrequently but enjoy it when I do
19) Approach woman: Hmmm well no problem there! Approach women to take home, major problems there!!!!
20) Cook something well: Any complaints about my pasta? I think not!
21) Wallow in nostalgia: just take a look at my mobile ringtones to answer this one.
22) Be happy: :-)
23) Age gracefully: I'm gay; I have no choice in the matter!
24) Organize documents: check
25) Gift shop: No, no, and thrice no. The day before, maybe, an hour before, usually.
26) Read: A pro
27) connect with babies: not yet
28) Set the video: please!
29) Feign illness: pretty good at this
30) Top up the coolant in a 1.6L fuel injection Zetec engine: I don't quite understand this sentence to be fair!

Result: 20/30. Not quite a man yet then!